


Four and Six: A Choice

by Milner



Category: Divergent Series - Veronica Roth
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-06
Updated: 2014-08-27
Packaged: 2018-02-12 01:55:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 21,961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2091486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Milner/pseuds/Milner
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A new program has been initiated to help those make their decisions before choosing day. Beatrice takes a chance on her partner in the program, and a bold move takes her further than she ever expected to go.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

We're gathered in the school's auditorium waiting patiently to find out what today's assembly is about. A quick glance around at the small amount of people gathered tells me that only those that will graduate this school year are here. I sit next to my bother, Caleb, in a small quiet group along with the rest of our faction, while members of the other factions talk loudly amongst themselves and each other. When our Faction History teacher, Mrs. Bradford, enters the room, I give her my full attention.

"Quiet down now please. I have a very important, and exciting announcement for all of you!" She says it with such enthusiasm, my heart flutters with anticipation. "This is your last year of classes as you all know, and this year, the leaders of the factions have come up with a new program for your benefit. The program is called the Integration Correspondence Initiation. It's benefits are two-fold. Firstly, it is going to be used as a way to help solidify the unification of the factions. Second, it's going to give you an opportunity to have someone to communicate with that has already been through this process. Give you a small glimpse of what life is like after the Choosing Ceremony."

The room stirs and I glance around quickly at the faces of my peers; their excitement shows on their faces. I let a small smile play on mine before my brother leans into my view. His look of disapproval shuts me down, so I close myself back up again and give my full attention back to our teacher.

"Now, a few things you should know. The program is going to be handled through letters that will go through myself and the different leaders of the factions. This program is also going to function on complete anonymity. You will not know who you are corresponding with, nor what faction they belong to. You will be assigned a number, and so will your partner, and that is the only way you will address each other. Everything is going to be as random as possible on our end, to ensure not only your safety, but the success of the program. When I call your name, please come down to be assigned a number, and to choose your partner!"

She pulls out two large bowls from behind her podium. I can see that they are both filled with pieces of paper. I can't help but be reminded of the large bowls used in our choosing ceremony.

"Oh. Before I forget," she calls out, "your numbers are to remain a secret. They are for you and you alone. Your number, and your partners, will consist of two numbers. One is unique to you, the other is unique to a faction. Only those of us who set up the program will understand them, so don't try wracking your brains too hard trying to figure it out." She glances at the Erudite kids and they laugh. "This is the trial run. Let's make it succeed, okay?" She smiles broadly before reaching into the bowl on her right and pulling a piece of paper. "Lyla Smith."

A girl from Amity stands and makes her way down. She watches nervously as Mrs. Bradford fills out some information on her clipboard. Lyla reaches into the other bowl and pulls out a piece of paper, handing it over to Mrs. Bradford as she continues to write. She folds the sheet of paper on her clipboard in half, and pulls along a perforation, before handing the bottom half to Lyla. She studies it carefully and listens to our teacher before nodding and slipping it into her pocket, and leaving the auditorium. I realize this is not going to be a quick process and let my eyes wander for a while.

"Beatrice Prior." I'm startled when I hear my name called so soon. Being Abnegation, I'm so used to being the last one to do anything. I hesitate for a moment before I stand and make my way down. I wait patiently as Mrs. Bradford writes.  
"Go ahead a choose a piece of paper," she says as she motions to the bowl on her left. They all look blank, so I pick one from the top and hand it to her. She unfolds it carefully and continues to write. My heart pumps out a nervous beat when she tears off my portion of her paperwork and hands it to me.

"Beatrice, the top numbers here belongs to you." I stare at the numbers 6-1 on my paper. "When you want to call yourself by name, or sign your letter, you use these numbers. And these ones here," she points to a set on the bottom, "These belong to your partner. Same rule applies. Understand?" I nod my head. "Good. A list of acceptable and unacceptable topics to discuss are listed on the back of this sheet. Go ahead and head back to the classroom. The others are there starting their letters. It might seem odd at first, so keep this first letter simple, okay? Before you know it, you'll fall into a nice rhythm." I nod again and she gestures towards the door.

I clutch my paper tightly and take my time walking back to the classroom; my heart still hasn't settled. I wonder who I'm going to be paired up with? Pulling a number at random cannot guarantee that I will be paired with someone from my own faction, and it startles me how excited I get at the mere chance to talk to someone outside of Abnegation. I smile and silently think of all the questions I'm going to ask as I walk. When I reach the classroom, I put on my Abnegation mask and take my seat.

I glance at the others and notice the looks of confusion on their faces. When I see Lyla staring at her paper, I remember the rules listed on the back. I flip my paper over and look them over.

**DO:**

Make small talk only.

Discussion topic examples:  
The weather.  
School.  
Your appearance.  
Your schoolwork.

**DON'T:**

Discuss anything relating to your faction.  
Reveal your true name.  
Reveal where you live.  
Reveal anything too much about your families or their jobs. (You can discuss the amount of siblings you have, or vague things about your parents etc.)  
Ask about the Aptitude test. (You may discuss your feelings about it.)  
Ask about The Choosing Ceremony in detail.  
Write in anything but pencil.

This list is absurd. How are we supposed to get a glimpse of life after The Choosing Ceremony if we can't talk about it? And what's with the secrecy now about The Choosing Ceremony? Anyone can go to that, and it's all out in the open. And how is this going to unify the factions if we don't know what faction we're dealing with? I can see this lasting about three, maybe four letters and then dying out. This isn't a very well thought out program.

I sigh and take out a sheet of paper and a pencil. This is mandatory, so I might as well make an effort. I glance at my partners numbers before folding the sheet of paper and placing it in my dress pocket.

_Dear 4-4,_

_My name is 6-1. I'm not too sure what to say, seeing as we have all sorts of rules to keep this all anonymous._

_I will be graduating this year, obviously. I'm a good student, straight A's all around. I like school well enough, and sometimes I think it will be really awkward to not have to come here every day. Did you like school?_

_I think this program is odd, do you? I feel like I might say the wrong thing and get into trouble, even though nobody said anything to let on that there would be consequences. Do you have a list of appropriate topics too? I hope yours is longer than ours. I could tell you everything in almost one paragraph._

_I think I'll end this now. I want to keep something for us to talk about next time. I hope you have a great day._

_Sincerely,_

_6-1_

This is easily the worst thing I have ever written in my life. I fold the letter and sit with my hands in my lap, waiting for Mrs. Bradford to come in and tell us what to do next.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there! Just a note to say that this isn't a very long story, and it's more about choice than anything else. I actually wrote this a while ago, but I wasn't happy with it, so I let it sit. When I came back I made the appropriate fixes, and it's much better now!
> 
> I'll update every few days, just so it lasts a little longer. I'm currently in the middle of writing a modern day. I generally don't like most AU's like that, but I wanted to do something light and fun, because the story I have planned after that is going to be pretty dark. Just know that I'm in no rush over either one.
> 
> I hope you enjoy this story, and since we're just getting started, I'll go ahead and post the second chapter as well. Happy reading! Reviews are greatly appreciated!


	2. Chapter 2

**Four**

I make my way up to Max's office with Shauna and Zeke. "I still cannot believe you talked us into doing this. This has to be your worst idea yet," Zeke says as he punches me in the arm.  
"I didn't say a word about it. You're the one who followed me up there," I say as I punch him back.  
"You didn't need to! One look and I knew I would be a dead man if I didn't sign up for this."  
"You two fight like an old married couple," Shauna says with a grin on her face. "Besides, it's not that bad."  
"How would you know? What if I get a Stiff? What could they possibly have to talk about? Or even worse, a Nose? Uppity know-it-alls." Zeke makes a face like he just ate something sour.  
Shauna rolls her eyes. "Oh please."

I laugh, but Zeke's wrong. This is a great idea. I think back to my childhood, and I remember wishing I had someone, anyone, to talk to. A part of me hopes that I get paired with someone like me, someone with, well, a need for companionship.

I tried to hide my enthusiasm at the mandatory sign up. Only ten volunteers were needed, but this is Dauntless, and this is the sort of pansycake thing that makes everyone roll their eyes and walk away. Max and Eric had already signed up, as it is mandatory that leaders participate. When only one other person, Piper, an older Amity transfer signed up, the group was threatened. I sighed and made a production, including giving Eric a look that would make most of the compound run in the other direction. He just sneered at me. I shot Zeke and Shauna looks afterwards, and they both rushed up after me.

Max's office door is open. "Here for your letters?" The three of us nod. He opens a folder and hands us each an envelope. "They arrive every Saturday morning. Have your replies to me no later than Tuesday morning. The courier comes at 10. This is also a list of topics that you aren't allowed to discuss," Max says as he hands us each a second piece of paper.  
"How long is this supposed to last?" Zeke asks as he looks over the list. Max shoots him a look, and so do I.  
"Right now it's slated for ten weeks. I suggest you take this seriously, Pedrad."  
"Yes Sir," Zeke says, realizing he should have kept his mouth shut.  
"Is that all then?" Max asks, dropping a not so subtle hint that it's time for us to get out. I clench my jaw as we leave his office. Max isn't exactly my favorite person, so I don't welcome any more than necessary interactions with him.

We get off the elevator on the thirteenth floor together, saying goodbye to Shauna as her apartment is the very first one. Zeke sighs as we approach his apartment.  
"What?" I say, slightly annoyed at how childish he's being.  
"Nothing. Do you think we could grab a drink tonight? I have something I want to run by you."  
It's pretty unusual for Zeke to be this serious. "Yeah. What time?" I ask.  
"I dunno. 7?"  
"Sure. I'll meet you there."  
"Thanks man." He leans in and gives me a hug, slapping me hard on the back. Something must really be bothering him. I continue on to my apartment, the last one on this floor.

I turn on the light in my dim apartment and grab some paper and a pencil and sit at my small table, eager to read my letter. I look at the envelope and see a small  _4-4_  written neatly on the front. I smile at the coincidence as I tear a side off and pull the letter out.

_Dear 4-4,_

_My name is 6-1. I'm not too sure what to say, seeing as we have all sorts of rules to keep this all anonymous._

_I will be graduating this year, obviously. I'm a good student, straight A's all around. I like school well enough, and sometimes I think it will be really awkward to not have to come here every day. Did you like school?_

_I think this program is odd, do you? I feel like I might say the wrong thing and get into trouble, even though nobody said anything to let on that there would be consequences. Do you have a list of appropriate topics too? I hope yours is longer than ours. I could tell you everything in almost one paragraph._

_I think I'll end this now. I want to keep something for us to talk about next time. I hope you have a great day._

_Sincerely,_

6-1

It's short. A lot shorter than I expected. The handwriting is perfect cursive, which makes reading it go even faster. I stare at the signature,  _6-1._

Six is obviously meant to denote the name, as there are only five factions. This whole  _4-4, 6-1_ business seems so impersonal, so I do my best to write a worthwhile letter to a complete stranger.

_Dear Six,_

_Hello. I hope you are doing well. Unfortunately, I think we have the same short list of acceptable topics to discuss, so I will do my best to keep my letters as entertaining as possible._

_I did do well in school, and every now and then I miss it just a little bit. It was definitely nice to have that type of easy routine. My days aren't much harder now, they're just filled with more unexpected things._

_Yeah, this new program is a little weird. But it's just starting out, and if it succeeds, it could be very useful to those who are about to start their lives. Who knows, maybe they'll relax the rules in the future. Everything needs to start somewhere._

_Wow, you're right. I'm afraid if I make this letter any longer, I'll run out of things to talk to you about. So how about a few questions?_  
 _What's your favorite school subject?_  
 _Do you have any siblings? I don't. My mother passed away when I was young.  
_ _Have you seen a Choosing Ceremony before? I can try and answer some questions if you have any._

_I'll do my best to make my next letter more interesting._

_Regards,_

_Four_

That wasn't too bad. I guess it could have been worse. Am I that nice though? No, not really. I chuckle a bit as I fold the letter and address the envelope properly. It's still early in the afternoon, so I lay down in my bed and close my eyes.

_Listen up, boy. You don't know what's good for you. You don't know what you want, and when you do, it will be too late. Trust me. This is for your own good._

My eyes fly open as I bring a hand to my chest. My heart is beating a million miles a minute and I'm covered in a thin layer of sweat. My back aches as though my dream was real; the reality is it's just a memory. I steady my breathing and look at the clock. It's early still, so I change into an old shirt and a pair of sweats and head down to the training center. I wrap my hands carefully before I take out the frustrations of my fear and my dream on the punching bag. Each hit is a mix of pain and pleasure and wishful thinking. Sometimes I curse myself for my choice; for being such a coward.

I don't belong here. I don't belong anywhere.

I mix the oils carefully and pour them into the water, easing into my bathtub three hours later. Every square inch of me is screaming out in pain from being pushed to the absolute limit. But I clench my jaw and suffer through it, for my own good. I'm used to pain, and I can't let this tolerance subside. Not if I'm going to make a harder life for myself. My choices run through my mind over and over. It's clear to me that there's only one way to undo the mistakes I have made.

I find Zeke sitting at a table in the back corner of the bar, beer waiting.  
"Thanks for coming," he says quietly. I see one empty glass and his current one is already half gone.  
"No problem. What's going on?" I ask before taking a drink of my own.  
"You're training this years initiates again, right?"  
I sigh. "Why?"  
"Uriah."

I look around quickly. The bar is mostly empty, but there's enough noise to drown out our conversation. "What about Uriah?" Zeke just looks at me over the rim of his glass. I don't need him to elaborate. I think I knew before Zeke did. I just needed to clarify.  
"I need you to watch out for him."  
"I think I'm with the transfers."  
"Shit. Do you know who's with the Dauntless borns then?"  
"No. They haven't assigned anyone yet, last I heard."  
Zeke sighs and runs a hand over his face. "Shit," he says again.  
"Listen. It will be okay. He'll be fine." I don't know if he will, but what else is there to say? This also means my plans need to be put on hold. It's an easy sacrifice for my best friend.

"There's something else, man." I raise an eyebrow at him. "I think...Shauna...we were stupid one time..."  
"Zeke."  
"I think she's pregnant."  
"Zeke."  
"I know."

I sigh loudly and give him a look as he lowers his head. "You're eighteen."  
"I know."  
"You're an idiot."  
"I know."  
"You've only been together a few months."  
"I know."  
"But you'll probably be the best father in the whole compound."  
He looks up at me as a slow smile spreads across his face. "I know."

"So are we celebrating?"  
"Not yet. It's still early, and she has a doctors appointment at the end of the week."  
"So, there's still a chance she's not?"  
"Yeah. I just needed to freak out for a minute."  
I laugh. "Zeke. You're an idiot."  
He grins. "I know."

* * *

**Beatrice**

I rush as fast as I can without drawing attention to myself, anxious to get to my Factions class. Our letters come today. The thrill of possibly talking to someone outside of my faction has been at the forefront of my mind since Friday, when I wrote my first letter. Wednesday has the potential to be my favorite day of the week. I ease into my seat and sit with my hands folded in my lap, for fear they might betray my excitement.

Everyone settles in and Mrs. Bradford walks desk to desk, handing out our letters. "Don't open them just yet! We're going to continue with our lesson on Candor today. Take your letters home and read them tonight, and make sure you have your replies to me on Friday." I run my fingers across the edge of my envelope before placing it safely in my folder and sigh.

The day drags on, but the bus ride home is worse. I keep my head down and try not to focus on how close I am to my small bit of freedom. I wait patiently as always for the others to exit first, and make my way home. I run straight to up to my room, close the door, and open my envelope.

This is not what I imagined.

But what did I imagine? Someone spilling all the secrets of their faction? Confessing to their dislike of The Choosing Ceremony? Wishing they had chosen differently? At least the handwriting is nice; small neat print. I stare and try to figure out if Four is a boy or a girl.

_Four._

They called me Six. Almost on a first name basis with a complete stranger. I study their responses and try to gauge which faction they might be from. Definitely can rule out Dauntless and Candor. This persons too polite. Erudite? Possibly, but it's definitely on the bottom of the list. That leaves Amity and Abnegation. I sigh. Chances are I was paired with someone from my own faction. I laugh at myself. Guess that's what I get for being selfish. I grab a piece of paper and decide to test the waters.

_Dear Four,_

_I'm very sorry to hear about your mother. That must have been very difficult for you. I love my parents very much and can't imagine my life without them. I have an older brother as well, but we're close enough in age that we are in the same year. He's doing this same assignment too._

_We both went to last years Choosing Ceremony. Even though we weren't choosing, I was still nervous. It's such a big moment in our lives._

_I don't really have a favorite subject in school. They're all just okay. Right now though I guess it would be Faction History. That's the class that's making us write these letters. I was hoping to get more out of this though than some anonymous chit chat though. My teacher gives us our letters sealed, which means she doesn't read them. If you think it's okay, I would like to talk about more than the "approved" list. But I might as well round it out, and do exactly as the rules dictate._

_The weather is nice and warm today, as I'm sure you know. I doubt it's any different where you are._  
 _School is okay. My course load is easy enough. Not a lot of homework today.  
_ _My appearance: Short. Small frame. Fair skin. Gray eyes. Long blonde hair._

_I think that's everything. We'll have to figure something out if we wish our letters to contain more than this._

_Sincerely,_

_Six_

If my partner really is Abnegation, I'll probably get in trouble. It's okay though. At least it would be something out of the ordinary. I seal my envelope tight, write a neat  _4-4_  on the front and place it back in my folder before starting on the rest of my homework.

"So, Beatrice, Caleb. How is the new program going?" our father asks at dinner.  
"Very well. It's an amazing learning opportunity," Caleb answers quickly.  
"It's okay," I answer honestly.  
"Just okay? A lot of thought and preparation went into this, Beatrice. This was a huge task, getting the factions to cooperate like this," my father says sternly.  
"I know. There's just so many limitations on what's acceptable to discuss. It makes it hard to really learn anything or have a normal conversation."  
"You just need to be more creative, Beatrice," Caleb says, with an apparent air of superiority meant to denote he is not struggling at all.  
"There's not enough to get creative with, Caleb."  
"That's enough," our father scolds. We both put our heads down and finish dinner in silence, before cleaning up and heading to our rooms.

As I lay in bed, Caleb's words keep running through my mind.  _Be more creative._  If my little test fails, then I will.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about that!! I didn't realize this chapter didn't post like chapter one did, so you guys get two chapters this time around!


	3. Chapter 3

**Four**

"So, false alarm then?"  
"Yeah. You know, I was getting used the idea of being a dad too."  
"Don't worry Zeke. There's still plenty of time for that."  
He gives me his patented dazzling Zeke smile before coming in for the hug. As much as I dislike this sort of contact, from Zeke it just feels right.

"So, you never told me. What's your writing partner like?"  
"She's a nose, I know it."  
I laugh. "How do you know? How do you even know it's a girl?" I ask.  
"Because, man. She wouldn't shut up about herself and her good looks and how smart she is and how she's the best at this and the top of her class at that." He rolls his eyes. "Told you I'd get someone annoying. What about you?"  
"Truthfully? I'm not too sure. Mine seems fairly laid back, and nothing at all like yours."  
"Want to switch?" he asks excitedly.  
"No way. You can keep your know-it-all."  
Zeke breaths all the air in his lungs out through his nostrils before giving me a serious look, and an even more serious, "Dammit."

I leave Zeke in the cafeteria and head up to get my letter. When I arrive at Max's office, he is nowhere to be seen. But Eric is there.

"Aren't you scheduled to do maintenance checks today?" he says coldly. It's no secret there's no love lost between the two of us.  
I take a deep breath and compose myself, because I have a feeling where this is going. "Yes."  
"Then what are you doing here? Run along and let the people who matter handle things up here." He makes a little hand gesture, like his fingers are running towards the door, and it takes everything in me to not reach out and break his hand.  
"I actually stopped by for my letter."  
"Letter?"  
"Yes. From the program."

He rolls his eyes before fiddling around on Max's desk. It amuses me that he doesn't know where he keeps them.  
"They're in the folder. Over there," I say as I point to the shelf behind him. He snatches it down and tosses my letter down at my feet. I clench my jaw tight as I retrieve it.  
"That's right. Run along and do your menial task work."  
"Second place," is all I say as I leave the room. I don't even need to look back to know Eric is fuming. I know it's petty, but sometimes I let that part take over me, and enjoy the fact that it still pisses him off that I beat him.

I also know he's dying to know about the private conversation I had with Max last week. He offered me a position. The same position that Eric holds. The same one I turned down after ranking first in our initiation class. I know that I will never take it, and not just because I plan on leaving.

After making my way through Amity, I head over to Abnegation. I tread carefully, watching every person and their every move. Luckily I don't have to go into their headquarters; running into my father would be a disaster.

I'm just finishing replacing the two cameras in the Factionless section that went down, when a group comes by with boxes of items to distribute. A quick glance tells me I have nothing to worry about, but a glint of blonde hair catches my eye, and I find myself watching; staring even. I think I recognize her, but I'm not sure. It's almost as if she can feel my gaze, because she looks up directly at me.

Our eyes meet for a moment before she looks away. I look away too, positioning the new cameras properly before placing the old ones in my backpack. Just as I'm about to leave, I look back; there's something about her. In that quick moment we locked eyes, I could see it. She's small, but her eyes aren't; they give off a ferocity that she is ten feet tall and that nothing in this city could hold her back from what she desires. When she looks up again, she gives me a small smile, and my stomach gives a little jump. I give an almost imperceptible smile back and take off towards the train tracks.

* * *

_Dear Four,_

_I'm very sorry to hear about your mother. That must have been very difficult for you. I love my parents very much and can't imagine my life without them. I have an older brother as well, but we're close enough in age that we are in the same year. He's doing this same assignment too._

_We both went to last years Choosing Ceremony. Even though we weren't choosing, I was still nervous. It's such a big moment in our lives._

_I don't really have a favorite subject in school. They're all just okay. Right now though I guess it would be Faction History. That's the class that's making us write these letters. I was hoping to get more out of this though than some anonymous chit chat though. My teacher gives us our letters sealed, which means she doesn't read them. If you think it's okay, I would like to talk about more than the "approved" list. But I might as well round it out, and do exactly as the rules dictate._

_The weather is nice and warm today, as I'm sure you know. I doubt it's any different where you are._  
 _School is okay. My course load is easy enough. Not a lot of homework today.  
_ _My appearance: Short. Small frame. Fair skin. Gray eyes. Long blonde hair._

_I think that's everything. We'll have to figure something out if we wish our letters to contain more than this._

_Sincerely,_

_Six_

I sit at my table and stare at the letter. They're right. Or, rather,  _she's_ right. Long blonde hair? Small frame? Most likely a girl. Definitely a little bold. Could she be from Dauntless? I can't see Abnegation or Amity. I guess there's only one way to find out.

_Dear Six,_

_You are correct. My letters come sealed as well. So feel free to ask me anything. Something tells me you have a lot of questions._

_A little bit about me then. I am tall. Tan skin. Short dark hair. Blue eyes. And male, in case you were wondering. I'm 18, and a transfer, though I'm not going to tell you from which faction. I'm curious what you thought when you read my first letter. My first guess for you is Candor, just because you don't seem to want to hold anything back. But you could also be Erudite. Maybe even Dauntless. Definitely not Abnegation or Amity._

_I currently work in intelligence within my faction, which means I watch security footage all day, replace security cameras and the like. I do know my fair share about computers though, so I sometimes do some work around at other factions. Who knows, maybe we've seen each other before. I like my job. I'm actually really good at it. I had opportunities for other things, but they just didn't suit me. So far it's not a mistake._

_This year I will also be working with those who choose. Trying to be as vague as I can here, but I'm also one of the best at, well, what's necessary for our initiation. And hey, maybe I'll see you there too._

_Okay. You tell me more about yourself. And ask me anything. I'm in this for you._

_Four_

Okay. This is still odd. Especially since I'm signing my name, and still referring to her by a number. Next letter will be better. I'll know more and maybe I won't feel like I'm talking to a complete stranger. And maybe I can actually help her out. I really do want to do something meaningful before I leave.

* * *

**Beatrice**

I take in a deep breath as I read the letter again. My eyes dance all over the paper, unsure of where to even begin. A smile plays across my face as I realize, he has no idea I'm Abnegation. I've always felt like I don't belong here, or rather, that I am more than what this life has to offer; It's definitely a nice validation for me. A million things fly through my mind, so I try my best to organize them into something coherent and start my letter.

_Dear Four,_

_This is really good news. I feel like we can actually get somewhere now._

_I'm a little surprised that you think I'm Candor. Or Erudite or Dauntless. Truthfully, I'm not even close to any of those. I'm Abnegation, which was my first guess for you, followed by Amity. But something tells me I'm just as wrong as you were._

_Life in Abnegation is, well, hard. Not in the physical sense. The mental; it takes it's toll. I understand selflessness better than anyone, but sometimes, I just want to do something for myself. Is that so wrong?_

_I'm a bit terrified what my aptitude test will tell me; not just that it will tell me to stay, but that it will tell me to leave too. Is it possible to want both equally? Were you this conflicted? You transferred, so I'm sure you were. Was it hard to leave? Do you regret it?_

_I have to say, I was surprised to learn that you are 18. I'm not sure why, but I figured that everyone who would participate would be older. I turned 16 a few weeks ago. We don't celebrate birthdays in Abnegation. I always wanted to though. It seems like a good reason to celebrate._

_There's so much more running through my head, but I'll leave it at this for now. Thank you, you know, for breaking the rules for me. Oh, and I realize that I didn't specifically say, but I'm a girl, in case you were wondering._

_Sincerely,_

_Six_

I lick the envelope and seal it tight before holding it to my chest. I'm not sure why, but something about Four seems special. I rearrange the things I have for my schoolwork, press the letters from Four flat, and carefully place them in my newly emptied folder. I want to hide them away somewhere safe, but instead I place the folder with the rest of my things; I'm expected to carry it anyways.

I'm just finishing the rest of my homework when there's a soft knock at my door.  
"Come in." I turn and see that it's Caleb. I can tell something is on his mind. "What's wrong?"  
"Nothing. Why does anything have to be wrong?"  
"It doesn't. You just have a look on your face, that's all."  
"Oh." He looks around my room before finding my eyes.  
"Caleb. You can talk to me."  
"I know I can. There's nothing wrong, I promise. I just wanted to ask you something."  
"Okay."  
"Do you...well...if someone was breaking a rule, would you report them?"

My mind instantly goes into overdrive as my heart drops down into my stomach. Nonsense Beatrice. How could he possibly know?

"That depends. What rule are we talking about?"  
"A school one."  
I narrow my eyes at him. "Caleb."  
"You know what, it's nothing. Forget it."  
"But Caleb-"  
"Beatrice. It's nothing. I was overreacting." He gets up and leaves my room immediately.

I sit at stare at my door for a few, wondering what that was all about, before heading downstairs to start preparing dinner.

Caleb joins me shortly after and I can see whatever he was trying to talk to me about is still bothering him.  
"Caleb," I whisper, "Whatever it is, you can tell me. I promise I won't tell."  
He simply looks at me for a moment before turning back to dinner.


	4. Chapter 4

**Four**

_Dear Four,_

_This is really good news. I feel like we can actually get somewhere now._

_I'm a little surprised that you think I'm Candor. Or Erudite or Dauntless. Truthfully, I'm not even close to any of those. I'm Abnegation, which was my first guess for you, followed by Amity. But something tells me I'm just as wrong as you were._

_Life in Abnegation is, well, hard. Not in the physical sense. The mental; it takes it's toll. I understand selflessness better than anyone, but sometimes, I just want to do something for myself. Is that so wrong?_

_I'm a bit terrified what my aptitude test will tell me; not just that it will tell me to stay, but that it will tell me to leave too. Is it possible to want both equally? Were you this conflicted? You transferred, so I'm sure you were. Was it hard to leave? Do you regret it?_

_I have to say, I was surprised to learn that you are 18. I'm not sure why, but I figured that everyone who would participate would be older. I turned 16 a few weeks ago. We don't celebrate birthdays in Abnegation. I always wanted to though. It seems like a good reason to celebrate._

_There's so much more running through my head, but I'll leave it at this for now. Thank you, you know, for breaking the rules for me. Oh, and I realize that I didn't specifically say, but I'm a girl, in case you were wondering._

_Sincerely,_

_Six_

Abnegation? Does it still come through so much? I sigh. This girl is very perceptive. And the fact that she is actually Abnegation makes me pause. If I give away too much about myself, there's a good chance she will figure out who I am. I didn't want to hold back, at all, but now I feel like I must. Not for me though; I can take the consequences. But if she is found out, and then they find out she's breaking the rules with  _me_  on top of it? I'm not sure what they would do to her. I do know that I couldn't handle being the reason.

_Six,_

_Abnegation or Amity? Interesting. In fact, you are wrong. I am Dauntless. If there is one thing this program has taught me in our few short letters, it's that personality doesn't always dictate faction._

_I'm not going to lie to you. I was terrified on my Choosing Day, for more than one reason. My aptitude test gave me the result I expected, but I felt the same way you do. Still do sometimes. I don't regret the choice I made, at least not in the traditional sense. Dauntless allowed me to become someone new, and for that I am glad. But the reason I chose Dauntless is very complicated, and sometimes I think that maybe it wasn't the best reason. I could have became the person I am now in my original faction, it would have just taken a lot more work._

_Listen, Six. Whether your test tells you Abnegation or Amity or Dauntless, it doesn't matter. You should do what you feel is right, and only you know what right is. I don't know you personally, but that doesn't mean I don't care. I don't want you, or anyone really, to look back on their life or the choices that were made and regret anything._

_I have always disliked the way the Abnegation won't even recognize birthdays. It's the one day of the year they_ should _celebrate, seeing as how if you weren't born on that day, you wouldn't be around to do all your selfless deeds._

_If your heart ends up telling you Dauntless, I promise that I will personally hand deliver the largest piece of Dauntless cake anyone has ever seen to you on your next birthday. And trust me, it's the greatest thing ever. Just some_ food _for thought._

_Goodnight, Six. And don't stress too much. It's only the rest of your life._

_Four_

As I lick the envelope closed, a thought crosses my mind. Small, fair skin, blonde hair, grey eyes. Defiant eyes. No. It couldn't be.

* * *

**Beatrice**

_Dauntless?_ I mean, it makes perfect sense, him breaking the rules and all, but  _Dauntless?_

I smooth my hair and dress, as if they suddenly became disheveled upon this revelation, and read over the letter again. Right after the mention of a giant piece of Dauntless cake, whatever that is, I noticed he made no mention of his original faction. Either he's taking the whole 'faction before blood' thing seriously, or he doesn't want me to know. I'm betting on the latter.

As caring and not at all what I imagined a Dauntless member to be, I don't think my original assessment of Amity or Abnegation is all that far off. But if he purposely made no mention of it, I won't pry. I don't want to ruin, well, whatever this is.

_Dear Four,_

_When you're right, you're right. I would hope that the others come to the same conclusion, but seeing as how they're probably obeying the rules, they won't. I have to say, while I'm still nervous, you're observations have helped me, and I don't think I could ever repay you. Unless I do happen to choose Dauntless, in which case I can. But be warned, I will also bring along your last letter, frame it, and hang it on your wall. You owe me one cake._

_I do have to ask though, what is so special about it? I have seen cake before, but I have never tasted it. Obviously. Is it really that good? Is Dauntless cake different from regular cake? It's possible that I could allow food to determine my selection depending on your answers!_

_So, Dauntless? I must say, I am surprised. So have you worked with new transfers before or is this your first year? It seems pretty exciting. Abnegation initiation is boring. Just a bunch of community service. So basically, it's the same as every other day. I have heard that Candor is the hardest, being put under the truth serum. The idea behind total honesty is nice, but sometimes, you just have secrets that you want to keep, you know? Well, that was a stupid question. I know you know, and now I'm laughing at myself._

_What sort of jobs are there in Dauntless? Abnegation is basically council member, or some level of interaction with the Factionless. Distributing, delivering, organizing. Not a whole lot of choices. I imagine every other faction has loads to choose from._

_Do you ever wish things were different, Four? That you didn't have to worry about making a choice at all? It would be nice if we just knew our place, without having to worry about a single moment deciding the rest of our lives. I would think that life would be so much easier that way._

_Thank you, again. I look forward to your letters. Sometimes I feel like they're the only thing that feels right in my life._

_Sincerely,_

_Six_

I run my hand over the envelope one more time, making sure it's sealed tight before placing it in my folder. I still can't wrap my head around it. I lucked out and got exactly what I wanted. This is a true glimpse into life after choosing.

I think about all I've been taught about the Dauntless. We've always been told how loud, careless, reckless and dangerous they are. But not Four; there's no way he could be that. I imagine life would be very awkward and lonely in a place like Dauntless knowing there is not another person around that you can relate to. It's hard enough here, and we're the most accepting faction there is.

I ignore my homework and think for a while about the various Dauntless I've seen in my life. Besides the kids in school, there aren't many interactions between our factions. The kids of course are loud and rowdy, but so are the Candor, so that's no real indication of anything really. Twice Dauntless guards have been dispatched to deal with out of control Factionless while I was out delivering food. Both times they seemed to come in, do their job, and leave. No chance for observation there either.

My thoughts drift to the boy I saw the other day replacing the camera. His eyes were so blue, and I saw something in them in that small moment; something that made my stomach feel like it was filled with butterflies. I flush at the memory. He's the only Dauntless member I've really seen that wasn't patrol or in school. My heart races as a realization hits me. I open my folder in a daze and take out the letters. I shake my hands out and read them again, this time slowly, and take in the information I have been given.

Tall, tan skin, blue eyes, dark hair, security cameras. I try to swallow, but my mouth is completely dry. This isn't possible, is it?

* * *

I eagerly await the start of class today. Even though I won't read my letter until after school, just having it seems to send a wave of energy through me. Mrs. Bradford walks in, and the look on her face tells me something is wrong.

"Everyone, attention please. I'm sorry to say that after only a few short weeks, the Integration Correspondence Initiation is being stopped. With the various leaders being forced to participate, they realized quickly that this isn't a very good plan, and that with all the rules and restrictions they placed on it, it was difficult to reach the goals they had set."

No. This can't be happening. I keep my face as blank as possible, and take a quick look around the classroom. Everyone seems so relieved. How could I have ever been so hopeful?

This is the one time I wish my thoughts would have betrayed me.

 


	5. Chapter 5

"In the interest of not being rude, you will be able to write one more letter to thank your partner, and have one last opportunity to ask any last minute things," Mrs. Bradford tells us. I let out a small sigh of relief. I don't know why, but I feel connected to Four, and I'm not ready to let it go.

"So, I guess they're going to try the program again next year," Caleb says to no one in particular as we walk home from the bus. "Something about modifying the way it's done."  
"I don't understand. Why didn't they just try the changes this year? We still had six weeks left," I think out loud.  
"They wanted to try the changes out on a new group who hadn't been through it in any way."  
"It was very hard work. I'm glad they are going to try again to make it better next time," Susan adds. I roll my eyes at her perfect Abnegation response.

I stare at my brother as we walk. He didn't say it as a guess. More like he knows it for a fact. He notices the look on my face and quickly adds, "I asked Mrs. Bradford." Normally I would believe him, but between his questions before about breaking the rules, and his haste to let us know how he knows the answer, I feel like he's lying.

We say our goodbyes to Robert and Susan and head inside. "Why do you insist on looking at me like that, Beatrice?"  
"Like what?"  
"You know. Like you never believe a word that I say."  
"Maybe, it's because I don't."

He huffs loudly and heads upstairs. I mutter a quiet curse before following him up and knocking on his door.  
"Go away, Beatrice."  
"No, Caleb."  
He opens his door but doesn't allow me in. "What?"  
"I told you before, you can tell me anything. Please, Caleb. Talk to me."

He looks at me, and his eyes soften a bit. He opens his mouth to say something, but thinks better of it and puts his guard back up. "It's not important."  
"Caleb."  
"Do your homework, Beatrice. You're on dinner tonight."

I cross the hall and close the door to my room. As I pull out the envelope, I smile just a little, and shut out everything else.

_Six,_

_Oh, Dauntless cake. Where do I even begin? It's not like normal cake in any way. It's fluffy, and moist, and chocolate on top of chocolate on top of chocolate. Having a piece is like finding out the answers to every question you ever had all at once. Trust me, Six. It's a life changing event. If I could, I would stick a slice in this letter. I hope your threats aren't empty ones. I know the perfect place to hang my letter, and I expect it on day one._

_You're right. There are a lot of jobs to choose from here. Leader, trainer, tattoo artist, cook, patrol, shop keeper, guarding the fence. Those are just the ones I could think of off the top of my head. What do you think you would do if you stay in Abnegation? What do you think you would do if you left?_

_This will be my second year training our new initiates. Things have recently changed within Dauntless, and while it's not completely horrible, it's not for the best either. I hope that I can be the person who makes the newcomers feel like they made the right decision. Trust me when I say this Six, regret is one of the worst feelings there is._

_I think about what it would be like if things were different all the time. I mean, what if we weren't forced to make a lifelong decision at such a young age, or what if we were allowed to befriend people from other factions? (I think that maybe you and I would be good friends.) Or, what if there wasn't so much emphasis on which faction is better, which faction is the right one, which faction is the one who should be in charge? But mostly Six, I wonder what life would be like without it. All of it. If we could just be whatever we wanted to be, without the threat of becoming an outcast._

_There are good aspects and bad aspects within every faction. We place such a high value on our own, that we tend to overlook the things that_ are _right with the other factions; there's way too much emphasis on the things that are wrong. It's not right. Every person should have every good quality. Bravery. Intelligence. Selflessness. Kindness. Honesty._

_But that's not the way it works, Six. And I don't know if it ever will._

_Four_

I sigh heavily as I agree; things will never change. _  
_

* * *

**Four**

I read the last letter she wrote for at least the tenth time, and think about the girl I saw. I know that the chances that she is Six are slim, but I still picture her in my mind. As much as I don't want to think about it, I can't stop picturing her. They say the eyes are the windows to the soul, and in that small moment, I swear, saw directly into hers.

I wouldn't mind seeing it again.

How could someone I technically don't even know make such a big impact on my life? I sigh, because I already know the answer; I feel like I can be myself when I talk to her. I'd like to think it's because I'm changing; growing up and understanding what life is all about. But truthfully I think it's just her. She's living a life I know all to well. That life gives us a connection that I could never have with anyone else.

Sure, Zeke and Shauna and even Uriah are some of the best people I have ever met, and I am thankful for them. They are the ones who got me through this; they kept me sane here when I was sure I would go mad. But they don't know me. I still have to keep parts of myself hidden away.

I don't want to hide forever.

I put the letter back safely hidden in a drawer with the others, and head out to meet Zeke.

"It's Lauren," I say.  
Zeke takes a shot and then grabs mine and knocks it back too. "Shit. I thought she wasn't going to do it again this year?"  
"Changed her mind, I guess."  
"Do you think she will, you know...understand?" Zeke looks around the bar nervously.  
"No, I don't. Listen. I'll be there, okay? I can't be there in the beginning, but I can be when it matters. I promise you, nothing is going to happen to Uriah."

I try my best to give Zeke the most reassuring look I can, but I'm not sure if I even believe what I'm saying. I know how dangerous the situation is though, so if I have to go down fighting, I will. The fear over divergence is overwhelming; I would know. I motion for the bartender to bring us another round.

"Thanks, Four."  
"You're welcome, Zeke."

Two hours later, an incredibly drunk Zeke hangs on to me as I help him back to his apartment. He is running his mouth about nothing in particular, but in my half listening, half concentrating daze, I catch one particular thing that almost knocks me over.

Convince him to stay Dauntless.

"Zeke, what?" I ask him, hoping nobody heard.  
"I need to convince him to stay Dauntless," he slurs out.  
"Okay. No more getting shitfaced until this is all over with."  
"Shitfaced," he says with a grin.

I dump him in a pile of splayed limbs on his bed and lock the door behind me. As I head home, I realize why what Zeke said struck me the way it did. Convince him to stay Dauntless. What it really said to me was...

_Convince her to become Dauntless._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N:
> 
> So, today is my birthday, and in celebration of that, I am going to give you two chapters!
> 
> (Truthfully, as I was re-reading this chapter, it suddenly didn't make any sense the way I had it set up, and I had to remove a large chunk of it to flow better, which cut down on the words significantly. The next chapter is short too, so shh, I goofed a bit, but we're all good now!)
> 
> Thanks for following along! I really do appreciate it! : D


	6. Chapter 6

**Beatrice**

_Four,_

_I'm sure you already heard the news, but they're stopping the program. I knew it wouldn't last, but now that it's started, I don't want it to stop._

_Everything you have said to me this past month has changed me in a way that I don't think I can even express properly. You seem to understand me like nobody else can. And now that I've realized it, it's being taken away._

_Four, I don't know what to do. I wish things were different, because you are absolutely right, we would be friends. But this is it. This is where I have to thank you for everything you said and did for me and say goodbye._

_I don't want to say goodbye._

I don't even want to sign my name and make it official. Actually, I do want to sign my name.  _My_  name, not a number. I started crying at some point as I wrote, and I'm finding it hard to stop. This person, this almost complete stranger gets me better than the people I see every day of my life. I know I'm being selfish, and for the first time in my life, I don't feel guilty about it.

I lick the envelope, seal it tight and wipe my face. When I come out of my room, I catch a glimpse of Caleb sitting in his. He looks my way and I know he can tell I've been crying. Without a word he comes over to me and gives me a hug."It's okay, Beatrice."

There aren't many moments like this between my brother and I, but when they happen, I am thankful for them. "Come on. We have to go down to the distribution center. Go wash your face and I'll meet you downstairs." I nod and do as I'm told.

I've found myself looking up more and more for the past couple of weeks; looking for the boy with the blue eyes. I know he won't be there though. It was a fluke that he was doing his job in the exact same place we were doing ours, but still, I look. On the way to and from the bus, the distribution center, church on Sundays, while we're walking through the Factionless section doing deliveries. He is both everywhere and nowhere. I imagine often that he is Four; a face to go with the number.

* * *

**Four**

"This is going to be your last letter," Max says to me as he reaches for the folder.  
"What?" I say, trying not to sound alarmed.  
"Whoever came up with this stupid program decided it wasn't working out, so they're scrapping it. You can respond to this one, but that's it."  
"Oh," is all I can manage to get out.  
"Good riddance," he says, with a wave of his hand.  
"Yeah. Good riddance."

Max stops and gives me a look, but I stare back as blank faced as I can, and he simply shrugs. "Not every idea the Erudite come up with is ground breaking, I suppose."  
I let out a laugh, hoping to disguise my nervousness. Max joins in and gives me a nod, and I'm excused. The panic I felt as Max told me that this is over leaves for just a moment as I think,  _why the hell would the Erudite want to start a program like this?_

Her letter, although short, conveys so much emotion. I know exactly how she feels; I don't want to say goodbye either. I look up for a moment and find myself staring at the words I scrawled on my wall the night I moved in here; Fear God Alone. I let out a snort, remembering that not all fears vanish, and sometimes new fears take the place of old ones.

I sigh as I look back at her letter. This will be the last thing I can say to her, so I have to make it meaningful. I have to make it count. I have to...

I have to smile as I realize that, for once, I'm going to do what  _I_  want, and I have to not be afraid of what might happen.

I grab my things and catch the first train I can.

* * *

**Beatrice**

I slump down in my chair and prepare myself for the last letter I will ever get from Four.

"I hope that the small amount of time you had with the program helped you," Mrs. Bradford says as she passes out our letters. "If you have any questions, I would be more than willing to try and answer them. I'm here for you too."

In my head, I laugh. What could she possibly do for me? She will parrot the same rules we abide by, and I will still be left feeling lost. I don't think anyone could fill this empty spot I feel growing inside of me.

I look around and notice that two boys, one Erudite and the other Candor, immediately throw their letters in the trash without looking at them. I know that not every experience was going to be like mine, but I can't help but feel like that is a big slap in the face to the person on the other end of the letter. I want to say something, but I can't. Instead I carefully place the letter in my folder and give Mrs. Bradford my undivided attention.

As I sit in my room after school, I turn the envelope over and over in my hands and fidget nervously; I almost don't want to read it. I was so irrational in my last letter, and I let my emotions get the best of me. I could have said so much more, I just didn't know how. One last turn, and I am facing the neat print I am accustomed to seeing. I run a finger over the neat 6-1 on the envelope, taking in the slight indentation the hard press of the pencil left. My mouth twitches slightly on one side, and I bring the envelope up to my face and smell it. I don't know what I expected; it just smells like paper. To an outsider, I must look like a lunatic. I sigh and carefully tear the envelope open. There are only two hastily written lines on the paper inside, and they create an excitement inside of me that I have never felt before.

_Six- I don't want to say goodbye either._

_878 North Briar St. Four-_

My heart beats so hard in my chest, I am sure the entire faction can hear it. I flip the paper over, and search the envelope. There's nothing else here. No time. No date. The building is just across from the distribution center; easy enough to access at any time of the day. It's also happens to be on the very edge of Abnegation. Easy for anyone to access, really.

I need to think of a reason to go now. It's Caleb's turn for dinner, so as long as I'm back by 7, I won't be questioned. I compose myself as best as I can, and knock on Caleb's door.  
"I'm going to go and find mom. Volunteer for a few hours," I say when he opens it.  
"Okay," he says quickly and shuts his door. It's unlike him to not question everything I do, but since it works out to my advantage, I don't question it.

I hurry out the door, and walk at the fastest pace I can that won't draw any attention to myself. I take a quick look around to make sure nobody is paying any attention, and sneak into the building. We've used it a few times when the Amity had crop abundances. It's mostly just used now for spare equipment parts for the machinery we use when canning food. We still refer to it as the overflow building though.

I'm certain he's not here, but I call out "Four," anyways, and roll my eyes at myself when I don't get a response. Now that I'm here, I have no idea where to start.

He's not going to do anything obvious, that much is certain. Nothing screams trouble like a member of Dauntless in Abnegation. I make my way through the building, searching in empty crates and empty rooms. Maybe I'm too early? Or maybe he hasn't had a chance to get into the building yet.

Just before I exit, I notice the smell of fresh paint. A quick look around and I know this building hasn't been painted since before I was born. I search high and low for the source. As the smell gets stronger, I notice a thin door, still accessible, but partially hidden behind a stack of crates. I walk towards it, and my heart skips a beat as more of the door comes into view. On it, in fresh paint, is a neatly printed  _4 & 6._

Right in front of me is something I never thought I would see. I open the door slowly and see that it's a large room full of shelving, most likely an old janitors closet. There are a few brooms, mops and buckets inside, but it's otherwise mostly empty. On the shelf immediately to my right I see a single rubber glove, a moldy sponge, and an envelope.

 


	7. Chapter 7

My head is full of a million thoughts, but the only one I can focus on is that I have to read this letter right now. I can't go back home; I told Caleb I was going to be volunteering. And I can't go find mom knowing that I have this. I rip the envelope open and read as fast as I can.

_Six,_

_Don't ask me why I'm doing this, because I'm not sure I have an answer. All I know is that this program, and you, mean something to me. I owe it to myself, and to you, to keep this going. You_ are _my friend._

_While I can leave the Dauntless compound whenever I choose, I can only come here once a week regularly without drawing too much suspicion. And I know you have duties to fulfill as well, so I will check back here as often as I can, and I hope you are able to do the same. I understand if you don't want to continue this. It is risky after all._

_I'm glad that you were able to gain something from the program though. It's the whole reason I volunteered. I needed something like this, badly, when I was growing up. My childhood wasn't exactly the greatest. It was always my intention to help whoever I got assigned to, and I'm so glad that it was you, Six. That it was someone like me. Someone who willing to take risks, and someone who is willing to be themselves, consequences be damned._

_Six, I know it's scary feeling like you're different than you're supposed to be, but it does't have to be. All you need is someone who accepts you for who you are. I accept you. You make me want to be who I truly am, and I thank you for that. I didn't just help you, you helped me too._

_Until next time,_

_Four_

My heartbeat and my breathing are so erratic, I have to lie down for a moment, so I don't pass out. I take a few deep breaths to keep my grip on reality, and hold the letter up so I can read it. And I do; again, and again and again. A grin breaks out over my face as the words slowly sink in.  _He accepts me for who I am._

I fold the letter as small as I can, and give it a kiss before placing it in my pocket. I stand and brush myself off, regaining my composure before I head out to find my mother.

"Beatrice. What are you doing here?"  
"I just wanted to come help you. Is that okay?"  
"Of course it is." My mother puts a hand on my cheek, and smiles. "You look so happy today. What's the occasion?" I shake my head and shrug. "Okay," she says, not pressing for any more information. "Here, you want to work with the clothes today?"  
"Sure." My mother is so loving and accepting. We sit down together and place the clothing into small piles, while other Abnegation bag them up. This Friday we will be handing them out along with the food deliveries.

As I look at the people working around me, I think about Four's last letter. Well, his last letter that was still under the program.  _What do you think you would do if you stay in Abnegation?_

I love helping the Factionless, I do. I think everyone should be afforded the very basics of living; housing, food, clothing; and who am I to deny them that?

But do I want to do it forever?

I don't know.

What I do want to know is how Four knew about the overflow building.

* * *

**Four**

It was a bold move, but I couldn't stop myself, and I've done nothing but pore over it night and day. It's been a week; what feels like the longest week of my life. I realized too late that she would have no way to write back to me. The Abnegation don't have anything extra lying around, including pens and paper. I just hope she was able to figure something out. I grab the supplies I had set aside and toss them into my backpack before catching the train.

It's late, so I know I don't have to worry about running into any actual people. What I do have to worry about is the surveillance cameras placed around the city, not that anyone will be specifically watching at this exact moment.

I make my way through the shadows, careful to avoid the areas where I know I'll be picked up as a precaution anyways. When I close the thin closet door I turn on the flashlight I brought. On the shelf is an opened envelope. I suddenly second guess everything, but I check it anyways. Inside is my letter.

I sigh, feeling defeated. I knew I was asking too much of her. As I stare at the folded piece of paper, it occurs to me that my words are on the outside. It's folded differently. Of course. I curse myself and unfold the paper.

_Four,_

_I don't know what to say, other than I'm glad you decided to do this._

_I'm going to be bold and ask you something, even if it turns you away from me. It's something I need to know. I think I already know the answer, and if we're going to be sneaking around like this, I want to know the complete truth about you._

_What was your original faction? Your secret is safe with me._

_As much as I like being called Six, I want to tell you my real name too. I want to tell you everything. But I need to know the answer to my question first. I need to know that you're willing to give as much as I am, Four._

_I'm so glad to have found a friend like you._

_Six_

Mild panic races through me. Of course she's suspicious; she's not an idiot. Who else knows about this building, other than the Abnegation? I curse and grab the supplies from my backpack. As much as I don't want to do this, I want to do it too. I'm tired of the secrets; of being something I'm not.

_Six-_

_You are asking a lot from me. Things I'm not comfortable telling just anyone. I have no doubts at all that you will keep my secrets. I feel like you're keeping some of them now. But I need some time to think it over. More time than I have writing you in this room, okay? There are many, many reasons for them, and over time, I hope you will understand why. I hope you also know that because of you, I don't want to keep them anymore. I'm just not sure how to let go._

_You don't have to share anything now. You can wait until I go first. Just trust me. Things will make sense soon._

_I am willing, Six. I'm just not sure you realize how complicated things are._

_Four-_

* * *

Everything was left up to me, and I still couldn't go through with it. I hope she understands, but I mostly hope that I didn't screw everything up. She gave me a choice, and on the train ride home last week, I couldn't help but feel I made the wrong one.

"Hello. Are you in there Four?" Zeke snaps his fingers in front of me; I shove him off the the stool. "Christ, what is with you? You've been acting like a jerk all week," he says as he picks himself up off the floor.  
"Sorry. I just have a lot on my mind."  
"Well lay it on me. Get it all out."

I lean forward and look at Shauna. She just rolls her eyes and takes a sip of her beer. "Thanks, but I'll pass."  
"Whatever, man. If you want to keep it all bottled up, be my guest. But if you think for two seconds I'm going to let you take it out on  _me_ , you've got another thing coming."  
I smile. "You're right Zeke. You want to go down to the training room?"  
Shauna is already off her stool. "I do. I need to blow off some steam."  
"Yes, please," Zeke says. "Then I don't have to worry about you taking off my head when you finally blow."  
"Good. Let's go," I say.

I set up the targets and hand each of them knives.  
"Knives?" Zeke pouts. "I wanted to shoot guns."  
I raise one eyebrow at him. "And I need to throw something."

Shauna lets a knife fly, and it misses the target.  
"Good god woman. And you call yourself Dauntless!" Zeke says as he points and laughs.  
Shauna's nostrils flare and she lets another knife fly, this time hitting the target dead center. She calmly places her remaining knives on the table without looking at either one of us, and walks out of the training room.

"What the hell was that all about?" Zeke asks as he throws a knife, hitting the outside of the middle ring.  
"I don't know, Zeke. But whatever it is, you aren't helping."  
"She  _has_  been a little distant lately."  
I let a knife go and hit the target, dead center. "Have you, you know,  _talked_  to her at all about it?"  
"No. We haven't done much of anything since, you know, the scare."  
I nod. "Well, if you're asking me what I think, I think you need to go and talk about it. All of it, but mostly 'the scare'."  
"I know. I was just hoping it would sort itself out."  
"I don't think that's how it works."

We both let our knives fly at the same time. He misses completely, while I hit the center again, directly next to my first knife.  
"Why are you always right? And why are you still single?"  
"It's a mystery, Zeke."  
"Yeah well, it would be less of a mystery if you actually talked to a girl once in a while. Thanks man. And you better let all your shit out in here. I want to see that half smile of yours the next time I see you."  
I grin as Zeke hands me the rest of his knives and runs to find Shauna.

I throw knives for a while, feeling the slight burn in my arms more and more with each follow through. When this doesn't do it for me anymore, I put them away, and walk over the the punching bags. I grab the roll of tape sitting on the floor and toss it in the air a few times; I watch it become weightless over and over, each time falling hard and colliding with my hand. I squeeze it tightly after the last toss, and a moments thought has me throwing the tape aside; it's a comfort I no longer deserve. Each hit I press into the bag is harder than the last, and each hit burns itself into my memory as a reminder.

My hands ache, and it makes it difficult to grab onto the train as it rolls by, but I manage. I slump down next to the door and look at their scraped and swollen exterior and wonder if I'll ever see my hands as they used to be; smooth and unpunished. It's been so long, sometimes I wonder if they ever truly looked that way, or if I just imagined it. When it's time for me to jump again, the walk towards Abnegation is like cell memory to them; they know the damage they're capable of inflicting, and I rub them gently to try and ease the pain, and stifle the urges the feel when they're here.

I carefully make my way through Abnegation, pausing only at the door to the janitor's room. I run a finger over the 6 I painted when I feel it; a deep, familiar ache in my chest. I take a deep breath to steady myself, and open the door.

When I first see her letter, it's so short that I am sure she is telling me we have taken this to far and it's over. But in three short words, my life changes forever.

_Four-_

_Friday. 11 pm._

_Six-_


	8. Chapter 8

**Beatrice**

This day could not have gone any slower. Between school dragging, and working an extra hour handing out clothes to the Factionless, for once I am thankful to sit down to a quiet, although late, dinner. It means I'm one step closer to lights out, and one step closer to meeting Four.

"So, Caleb, Beatrice, what are they teaching you now in Faction History? I know that they had that letter program. Did they replace it with anything?" our father asks.  
I shake my head. "No. Nothing. We're focusing on Abnegation now, actually."  
"Oh? Which part?"  
"Basically how our faction came to give without taking, and how we learn from helping those in need," Caleb answers.

I lower my head and allow them to continue on without me. I'm not interested in this, any of this, right now. I'm tuned in just enough to be able to answer anything should I need to, when something Caleb says catches my attention.  
"But what if we didn't help the Factionless?"

I look up and catch my father glaring at Caleb. "What are you saying, Caleb? That you agree with Erudite?"  
"No, no. That's not what I'm saying at all," Caleb stutters out. "What I meant was what if there weren't any Factionless? What if they never became Factionless in the first place? Then what would we do?"  
My mother smiles and pats my father's hand gently as she says, "Then we would find another way, Caleb. There is always someone in need. They just don't always ask for it."

Caleb nods and turns his attention back to his food. My mother is still patting my father on the hand, and with both of their attention on each other, I sneak a quick glance in his direction. A look of total relief on his face, and I know he's lying.

My brother never lies.

* * *

As I lie in bed listening to my father's soft snores, I move my watch into the dim moonlight to check the time. The Abnegation turn their lights out at 10 pm even though the city allows them to stay on until midnight. It's been almost forty-five minutes; everyone should be asleep already.

I slowly make my way downstairs, pausing only when the second to last step creaks. I stand perfectly still trying to think of how to explain to my parents why I'm fully dressed when I should be asleep, but they never come. I breathe out a sigh of relief and slip out the front door.

When I close the door to the overflow building, it is much darker than I anticipated. I take a few steps in the direction I need to go but stop and wait for my eyes to adjust instead. I can't quite tell if the thin door is cracked open or not, so let out a quiet "Four?"

"I'm here," an unmistakably masculine voice replies, and it takes me a bit by surprise. Then again, what did I expect? A sliver of light suddenly shines out from underneath the door, and as it slowly opens, my breath catches in my throat.

The boy with the blue eyes is staring back at me.

He gestures me forward and after a moments hesitation, I go. He closes the door behind me, and as he sets the flashlight on a shelf, I can see the look of disbelief on his face too.

"Well," he says. "This is..."  
"Awkward?" I finish.  
He chuckles slightly and nods his head. He may have a deep voice and he is definitely much larger than I am, but he's nervous too, and that makes me feel just a bit more comfortable.

We stand there for a little while, neither one quite knowing what to do. Each time one of us catches the others eye, we both look away quickly. I clear my throat and open my mouth to say something, but he rushes his words out first, perhaps in an effort to show me that he's willing to go first.

"So, I guess we have a lot of things to talk about," he says. "And I know you wanted me to go first, but can I at least know your name?"  
"It's Beatrice," I reply. At that moment, knowing I snuck out of my house to stand in a storage room with a boy from Dauntless, that name suddenly seems so proper, and not at all fitting.  
"Beatrice," he replies.  
"It sounds weird to hear you say it."  
"Do you want me to call you Six?"  
"Yes. And no. I don't know. All of it seems too...formal? None of it seems right, you know, for this type of moment."

This time he smiles. "I know exactly how you feel. Tell you what, why don't you pick a new name? Something that does feel right for this moment."  
I smile too and think about it. "How about...Tris."  
"Tris," he says. "I like it."

Hearing him say it, I like it too.

"So, Tris. I believe you have some things you want to discuss?"  
"Yeah, I do," I say. It's odd, because as much as I wanted to know in my letters, it seems sort of stupid and trivial now. Four is here, right here in front of me. He's a real person and not just words on a piece of paper anymore. And maybe it's the Abnegation in me, or maybe it's just human nature, but I don't want to know all of his secrets anymore, well, not right away at least. He has them for a reason.

"What should I call you?" I ask.  
"I know this is going to be hard to believe, but in Dauntless, they call me Four."  
"They call you Four?" I ask, raising one eyebrow. "Why?"  
"Initiation. I wanted to escape, the same way I think you do, and when the opportunity came up, I gladly accepted the nickname and created a new me."  
I nod. Not only do I understand him, he seems to understand me too. "Do you like the new you?"

He let's a loud breath out through his nose, and looks down. I wait patiently for his response, but when he turns slightly to grab a bucket and holds it out to me, I raise an eyebrow at him. He raises an eyebrow back at me, so I take it. He grabs one for himself too, and I follow suit as he turns it upside down and sits.

"Yes and no. Things are very rarely that simple, don't you think? Like I said before, I could have easily became the same person I am now without having to transfer to Dauntless. Part of me feels like a coward for not even trying, and part of me wonders if that statement really is true. And yet another part wonders if this is really what I want to be, or even who I'm meant to be."

I nod, echoing his feelings with my own. "Do you think we'll ever live a life without this doubt?" I ask.  
He shakes his head slowly. "No. You might still have a small chance, but I don't. I feel like every single thing I do comes with a hundred questions attached, and consequences I could have never dreamed of."  
"I think I know how you feel," I say.  
"Well then, I guess there's not much hope for either of us, is there?" A small smile finds its way to his face, but it has nothing to do with happiness, and everything to do with realizing a truth he doesn't want to.

"What  _do_  you want to be?" I ask softly.  
He lowers his head and chews on his thumbnail for a second. It's only now that I see his hand is bloodied and swollen, and I wonder what he had to do to get that. He looks up to catch me staring, and quickly pulls his hand down so it rests with the other one between his legs.  
"Happy," he answers.

I don't know much about Fours past; his childhood, his original faction, his life now. But I do know pain and longing when I see it in his eyes. I've seen it many times in the eyes of the Factionless; I wonder if I would see that same look in my own.

I reach out and take his hand in mine, slowly examining it for injuries. Through the drying blood and the swelling, I can see scars and scabs too; this isn't the first time this has happened. When I do the same to his other hand, he takes in a small breath, but doesn't protest. A quick glance up finds his eyes locked onto mine. "Come on," I say as I stand. He stands too and grabs the flashlight as I lead him out into the main warehouse, hand in hand.

My heart beats a steady, hard beat as I lead him to the other side, and into a bathroom. He closes the door behind us and sits the flashlight down on the floor, causing eerie shadows to manifest all around us. His eyes appear dark and hollow, and it causes an uneasy feeling in me; almost as though I have seen this before. I shake my head once and push the odd thought aside. The shadows are dishonest anyways; the light always tells the truth.

I turn the faucet on and pull him towards me; close enough that we share breaths.  
"What happened?" I whisper.  
"Punching bag. You don't have to, my hands will be fine," he whispers back.  
"I want to." He nods and I guide his hand into the stream.

He winces at first as the cold water runs over his hands, but relaxes as I gently run my own over them, washing away the blood and soothing the ache. The first aid kit above me yields nothing but antiseptic, so I apply it carefully after they are clean.

"It's not healing salve, but at least they won't get infected," I say as I pat them dry.  
"Thank you," he says. I look into his eyes, and for the first time in my life, I don't want to lower my head and look away.

I can see a light in them, despite the darkness.

We stand like that for a few minutes before he speaks. "I should go. I don't want to miss the last train."  
"Okay."

This time he takes my hand and leads me through the warehouse. I smile a little as I think about what my parents taught me; touching is not something to do lightly, because every touch means something.

I like his touch.

I miss it the second he releases my hand to check that it's okay to leave.

"Are you going to be okay going home?"  
"Yeah, I'm fine. I'll be fine."  
"Okay," he says, hesitating just a beat. "Do you want to-"  
"Yes," I blurt out. He smiles. "Sorry," I say, embarrassed by my enthusiasm.  
"It's okay. Same time?"  
"Yes."  
"Okay. See you next week then."

I nod and slip out the door. As we head our opposite ways, I take one last look back before I turn the corner and see him do the same. I give a small wave and he nods his head just before he slips out of view.

 


	9. Chapter 9

I pace my room nervously as I wait. The only thing I have thought about all week is seeing Four tonight, and my mother just informed me we are having guests for dinner, which means they will leave late, and we will most likely get to bed late, and that could ruin everything.  _He'll wait_  I think. Even if we only get five minutes with each other, it's worth it.

Caleb and I are asked to prepare food for six. I'm certain it's dad's work colleague's, which means time will go by even slower, seeing as how Caleb and I, and even our mother, are mostly ignored. I am cutting potatoes when I notice that this is the third time Caleb has wiped his eyes.

"Are you crying?" I whisper.  
"No. I'm fine. Just do your work, Beatrice."  
I'm so over his insistence at being so damn selfless, I slam my knife down on the counter. "No. Talk to me Caleb, or I'm going to mom."  
"You wouldn't."

I turn to leave the kitchen, but he grabs my arm. "Fine. It's just that I realized something, and I'm not sure how to process it. You'll know soon enough, okay? I promise."  
"Caleb, you can tell me. I can help you."  
"The thing is Beatrice, I don't think you can." My brother's eyes are sad, but honest this time, and right now I understand the need for some secrets; I have many of my own.  
"Okay," I say. He gives me a small hug and we turn our attention back to dinner.

I sit quietly and keep my head down as my father talks work with our guests. I know one of them very well, Noah Black, our neighbor and Susan and Roberts dad. He offers us rides to school sometimes, but we always decline.

The other is Marcus Eaton. I haven't had very much interaction with him, but that doesn't stop me from getting an uneasy feeling whenever he is around. His mannerisms give off the appearance of being the perfect Abnegation citizen, but his eyes betray him; they are cold and lifeless. There's something else about him though, something I can't quite place.

As the conversations lulls, my mother says, "Why don't the kids and I clean up while you guys head to the living room?"  
"Oh Natalie, let me at least help you carry the dishes into the kitchen," Marcus says. I look up as he stands, and that's when I realize what that something is. The light above our table hangs low, low enough to cast shadows on his face. Low enough to make his eyes look dark and hollow.

Low enough to make the memory come crashing down on me.

I avert my eyes quickly. "No, that's okay Mr. Eaton. Caleb and I can do it. Thank you though," I say as calmly as I can. If I am right, and the not so silent accusations are right, I don't want to be anywhere near this man.  
"How very nice of you, Beatrice," he says, and gestures for my father and Mr. Black to head into our living room first.

My mind races as I help my mother and brother do the dishes. I know Marcus had a son that transferred, to  _Dauntless_ , of all places _._ And their eyes; both so blue they're almost black,  _are black_ , when the light hits them the same way. Could it really be him?

My mothers eyes have found mine a few times tonight, and each time, she has given me a small smile, or a gentle nod of her head, and I wonder if there is more to it. I contemplate asking her directly, but Caleb and I are excused to our rooms and I gladly take the opportunity to be alone.

I dwell on everything for some time in my room, but I have too many questions. Caleb always seems to have an answer, or at least a theory for everything, and I am desperate. I walk into his room, too preoccupied to remember to knock, and immediately stop in my tracks.

"What is that?" I ask, pointing to the small rectangular object in his hands.  
"Nothing, Beatrice! Get out and shut the door!"  
I close the door behind me, but I don't move. "No. Is that a tablet? Is it dads? Did he say you could use it?"

He quickly turns it off and shoves it under his pillow. I can tell that no matter what answers he gives me, he's in trouble. I walk to his bed and sit down. "Caleb, I promise I won't say anything. Just tell me something, anything. What is going on?"

He sighs as he hangs his head. I give him a few moments before I speak again. "Caleb?"  
"My partner," he says, bringing his eyes to mine. "You know, from the program? She gave it to me."  
"Your partner was...Erudite?" I ask, knowing that besides government officials, they are the only ones with this kind of technology.  
"Yes."  
"Okay, so why do you have it?"  
"She wanted to have a way to keep contact with me." I make a mental note of the irony.  
"She," I say.  
"Yes, she. And no, it's not like that."  
"Then what is it like?"

He runs a hand down his face, and I don't know how or when it happened, but he looks older. "My partner was...Jeanine Matthews."  
I'm silent for a moment as I take in what my brother just said. "And the leader of Erudite wants to keep in contact with you because...?"  
"Because she saw potential in me."  
"Potential?" I say quietly, unsure if I really want the answer to the question I'm about to ask. "Like, working with Erudite when you become an Abnegation council member potential, or, becoming Erudite potential?"  
"Beatrice, I...," he trails off, sort of half shrugging, half gesturing his hands in confusion. "Please don't say anything," he pleads. "Mom and dad, especially dad, would never understand."

I think about the consequences of what would happen, to either one of us, for what we're doing. Would they make my brother Factionless? Me?

"I won't say anything. On one condition. Well, two. First, if for any reason I'm not here when I'm supposed to be, you will agree and go along with whatever story I tell mom and dad if I get caught."  
"Beatrice, I don't-"  
"You agree or I won't cover for  _you_ ," I say, cutting him off.  
"Fine," he sighs. "Just promise me you're being cautious with whatever it is you're doing."  
"I am. And second, what do you know about Marcus Eaton's son?"

"His son? Why?"  
"Just tell me what you know. I know Marcus' wife died, and I know his son transferred, and that there were accusations of abuse, but that's it."  
"That's basically all I know. It was two years ago. His name was Tobias."

Tobias.

I remember it now, going to his mothers funeral. I was young, but there was a young boy there too, purposely avoiding everything and everyone. We gave our condolences and left, and as I looked back at the house, he was looking at us through the window. I smiled at him, and he smiled back.

"The Erudite claimed that he beat his son after that," Caleb continues, "And that's why he defected and chose Dauntless. Nothing ever came of it, but every now and then, the papers bring it back up in hopes to oust Marcus, and all of Abnegation really, from their leadership positions."

"Is this they type of stuff Jeanine talks to you about?" I ask, thinking back to the conversation he and our father had a couple weeks ago.  
"Sometimes," he says quietly.  
"Do you believe her?"  
"I honestly don't know. Both sides have valid points."

I sit on my brothers bed and watch him. He looks relieved to have told me all of this, but there's something else there too; worry, maybe. If he does transfer to Erudite, our father is going to be  _devastated._ I can't even begin to think of the conflict going on inside of him.

"Caleb, I don't know what to say to you, or really what to think of all of this. I mean, it  _is_  your decision, but..." I pause, unsure of what it is I even want to say to him. I could beg him not to do this, or I could beg him to remember his selfless upbringing and what it means to our parents, but I don't. Instead I just tell him what he needs to hear; that I'm not going to judge him. "Can you just promise me that you'll be safe too, and that you won't make  _any_  rash decisions?"  
"Yes," he breathes out quietly.

I shut my brothers door tight and head back to my room. Everything that has happened tonight makes me even more eager to see Four.

* * *

"Four?" I call out as I make my way towards him. The light creeps out from underneath the door and it opens just as before, this time to a smiling face. I make my way into our secret room and take a seat on my bucket, which seems to have moved closer to Four's since last week.

"Hey," he says as he sits, still sounding a little nervous. "How was your week?"  
"Miserable. Boring. Predictable. All I could think about was tonight," I say, flushing immediately at how easy it is to admit things around him. "Yours?" I ask.  
"Same. I had to head out to Amity and help with their system. Dauntless excitement knows no bounds," he says with a small smile.

I smile. "Listen, I hate to get serious so quick, but I need to ask you something."  
"Okay," he says as he leans in and gives me his undivided attention.  
"Please answer me truthfully. You're original faction, it was Abnegation, wasn't it?"  
He takes a deep breath and pulls himself up straight. "What good does it do to know that? I'm Dauntless now, and that's all that matters."

"Stop it," I say forcefully. "You claim we're friends. You're willing to sneak out and break rules and willing to let me do the same, but you cannot, no, will not answer a simple question. Why is that?"  
"Because it's  _not_  that simple, Tris."  
"Fine then. I think we're done," I say, standing up.  
"Wait," he says as I move towards the door. "Please don't go."

I move slowly back to my bucket, and sit. "I'm sorry if you think I'm pushing too hard," I say softly, "And I'm sorry if I'm forcing you to tell me things quicker than you had planned, but I need to know."  
"I think that maybe you already know the answer," he says.  
"Maybe I do."  
"Then tell me."

He looks at the floor and it draws my eyes down too, and I focus on what's in front of me; his hands. I reach out and take one after a moment, and inspect it for new cuts before doing the same to the other, and I find myself relieved that there are none. I don't let go when I am done.  
"Your hands are healing, Tobias," I say apprehensively.

His body shakes as he lets out a loud breath. "Your secrets safe with me. I promise," I say gently.  
"I know," he says quietly. "It's been a long time. I was so sure I would never hear my name again, let alone find anyone worth telling it to."  
"Well, technically, you didn't tell me," I say with a small smile. He looks up finally, and there's a faint hint of a smile on his face too.  
"Tris," he says, "Will you say it again?"  
"Tobias," I say, this time louder and more confident.

He closes his eyes as I say it, and it feels like he has been waiting for this moment his entire life. When he finally opens them, they don't look as dark as they did before, and the way he looks into mine makes me feel like I am the only other person in the entire city. That light is flickering in them, and I suddenly want nothing more than to turn it into a raging fire; one that can burn this city, and all of it's rules, to the ground.

He pulls my hands up, and gently places them on his shoulders. I lean in slightly, my heart racing as his eyes never leave mine, and when he places his own hands on my waist, I allow him to pull me close. He runs one hand up my back and gently presses his fingertips against the nape of my neck before hiding them in my hair, and my body responds in a way I never knew it could.

"I'm sorry," I say as I pull myself into him and bury my face in his neck. "If it's all true Tobias, I'm sorry." He doesn't say anything; he only pulls me in tighter.

We sit next to each other holding on tight, neither one wanting to be the first to let go. The silence between us may seem odd to an outsider, but the knowledge that we are content just being in each other's presence is comforting in ways that are almost indescribable. We stay that way, silent, until we have to say goodbye.

As we walk out hand in hand, I feel it; this is the moment when everything changes.

 


	10. Chapter 10

"Choosing ceremony is next week. Are you nervous?" Tobias asks me as we sit, holding hands in our little escape from reality.  
"Yeah. I know I shouldn't be, but I can't help it."  
"I know," he says with a chuckle. "It's really not that bad. You should have seen me though. I cut myself so deep, I bled all over everything; the coals, the floor, my clothes." I scrunch my nose but he just smiles.

"Did you know? I mean, right then, that you made the right choice."  
"Yeah. At that moment, it was all I could do. I knew that this was it, this was going to change my life. And it did, but it took me some time to realize how hasty it was, and that maybe it wasn't what I was supposed to do."  
"But Tobias, you had to get away. You don't know what would have happened if you had stayed."  
"Well, I might have met you," he says.

Now I smile as my heart skips a couple of beats. "You didn't need to stay to meet me," I say quietly.  
"Well, we wouldn't have met under such interesting circumstances then."  
"Right. We could have eyeballed each other from across the food distribution center," I say, laughing.

Tobias bursts out into a loud laugh and then covers his mouth quickly. "Shit, that was loud," he says, his voice muffled by his hand. I bring mine up too, and we both sit with one hand covering our mouths trying to stifle our laughter, while the other holds on tight to each other.

When we finally get a hold of ourselves, I find myself looking at the small piece of tattoo that carefully creeps out of his shirt, and onto his neck. I can't make out what it might be, but I do know that it piques my curiosity in more ways than one. "Did it hurt?" I ask, pointing.  
"My tattoo?" he asks. "I'm not going to lie, it hurt like hell. But it was worth it. What's the old Abnegation saying? We have to allow the pain to remind us to do better next time? I guess you could say it's my reminder."

I frown at the thought. "Why do you punish yourself, Tobias? Don't you think you've had enough of that?"  
"Yeah," he says as the smile fades from his face too. "Sometimes I'm not sure I know any other way."

I feel an actual pain in my chest as his stark words, and it makes me hate the things that have happened to him; that they make him feel like there isn't any other way. I reach out and place a hand on his face, turning it so I can look him in the eyes. "If you let me, I can show you another way," I say gently.  
He closes his eyes and leans forward, resting his forehead against mine. "You already have."

I let the moment take hold of me, and angle my head slightly, brushing my lips against his. "Tobias," I whisper, and this time he moves. His lips find mine and they feel soft and warm and like home, and I know without a doubt that this is right.

It was quick and innocent, but I still feel the heat in my ears and on my cheeks.

"Would you like to see it?" he asks softly.  
"What?" I say, still lost in the moment of feeling his lips on mine. He smiles, pulls the collar of his shirt aside and points. "Oh, right," I say, flushing even more at the question. "Your tattoo. I umm, well you see, I haven't..."  
"It's okay if you don't want to."  
"No, I do. I'm just...I've never...," I stop, realizing just how inadequate and inexperienced I am. I hate these moments that remind me just how different our lives actually are.

"Tris, don't worry. I'm not exactly, you know, experienced in this area either."  
"Oh," I say. "I'm sorry. I just assumed. You hear things, you know."  
"I do. And those things are actually very accurate, but not for me. I did come from Abnegation, after all," he says with a wink.  
"Ha! The black clothes and tattoos make it easy to forget," I say, feeling a bit more at ease.  
"So is that a yes?"  
I hesitate for just a moment before answering, "Yes."

He turns his back to me, and as he reaches up behind his neck, he says, "So eager to get my shirt off, Tris. Are you sure you're Abnegation?"  
I smile. "Hey, you're the one that offered, and-" but I stop, completely forgetting my train of thought as he pulls his shirt off.

His tattoo is more than anything I could have ever imagined. The entire right side of his back is covered in black flames that wrap around his ribs and lick onto his neck and collarbone, but I don't think that is what he wanted me to see. Down his spine are the symbols for each faction. I reach out and gently run my finger around the one for Abnegation, enjoying the small sigh I hear come out of Tobias.

"You have all of them. Every faction. Why?"  
"I told you, we put too much value on these traits. Each one has its positives and each one has its negatives, but we're too focused on tearing them down if they aren't our own. I don't want to tear them down anymore, Tris. I don't want to ignore the things that I feel; the things they tell me I'm not supposed to be. I want to be brave  _and_  selfless. And honest and smart and kind."  
I take my time running my fingers over each one, noticing how Tobias relaxes more and more with each touch. "Tobias," I say, "It's beautiful. You're beautiful."

He turns around and takes my face into his hands and kisses me, this time deeper, slower. My senses are on overload, noticing everything from how his smell reminds me of summer; wind and sun and warmth, to the way he gently moves his hands over me; one hand coming to a rest between my shoulder blades, the other on my hip. I place my hands on his chest, and when I realize he doesn't have his shirt on, I pull away.

He looks at me, confused for a moment, before quickly putting his shirt back on. "Sorry," he says, and I notice he has a flush on his cheeks this time. "I shouldn't have-"  
"It's fine. Don't apologize. It's just...all new, and well, you know."  
He leans in and gives me a quick kiss on the side of my head. "I know. No pressure, no rush."  
"Thank you."  
"You're welcome."

"So, what else happened on you choosing day?" I ask, genuinely curious to know more about what Tobias went through.  
"Ahh, well I can't tell you," he says with a little grin.  
"Why not?"  
"It's a secret. I'd have to kill you afterwards, and I don't really want to do that."  
I raise one eyebrow and smile. "Okay then have it your way. I'll just have to find out for myself."

His face goes serious again, but he doesn't say anything. I lean in and rest my head on his shoulder while he puts an arm around me. I like the comfort I feel in his arms; it's better than the comfort I get from the people in my faction.

He looks at his watch after some time has passed and lets out a little groan. "I have to go."  
"Okay."

He takes my hand and leads me out to the door. "Next week I'll bring you a surprise. Something special for Choosing Day."  
"Oh?"  
"Yeah. Don't ask for a hint though, because I'm not telling."  
I stand on my toes and place a soft kiss on his cheek. He smiles, and that small light in his eyes seems to have gotten just a little brighter.

* * *

**Tobias**

I left Tris later than I normally do, which means I have to ride the train that takes me around the city, instead of the one that takes me directly to Dauntless. I hold on tight and lean out the door, feeling the wind rush over me; it's one of the best feelings in the world.

The lights are out all around the city, except for one area. As the train approaches it, I crouch in the shadows of the train car and watch carefully as I pass by their compound. I see that not only are their lights still on, but people are busy working in the middle of the night. A single memory runs through my mind;  _why the hell would the Erudite want to start a program like this?,_ and everything in front of me screams  _this is wrong_.

* * *

I spent all week snooping around. I asked Max what he knew about the program. I rode the train to Erudite in the middle of the night, twice, and both times their lights were still on, and their people were up working. My last chance at finding anything is to spend some time going through the secure files kept on the Dauntless server while I work.

I angle my screen away from the one camera that can see it in the control room tonight and get to work. After logging into the ghost account I created months ago, I start digging, and eventually find my way into the secure files kept on the compound hard drive. It's a good thing the Dauntless are shit at computers.

"Hey," Zeke says, and it startles me back in moment. I minimize the window I had open quickly, leaving only the surveillance window visible, just in case. "We haven't hung out much lately, so I haven't really had the chance to say thanks."  
"For what?" I ask, confused where this is coming from.  
"Shauna, and everything. Things are good again. Real good" he says as he moves his hips around in his chair.  
"Thanks for that visual, Zeke," I say.  
"Okay, okay. And also thanks, you know, for being there for, uhh, the other thing."  
"You're welcome, for the thing."  
Zeke gives me one of his goofy grins, and I open the other window back up.

File 32-A doesn't look like much at first when I find it, but when I put the few pieces I have together, I can see the bigger picture. I panic as I look at Zeke and think about Uriah. I want to tell them,  _need_  to tell them, but Zeke is as Dauntless as they come, and I curse under my breath at his stubbornness. There's no way he, or any of the the few people I talk to, would believe any of this.

I try my best to quell the growing sense of dread in the pit of my stomach, but a singular thought won't stop pushing it's way in front of all the others.

I should leave.  _Now_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just two chapters left. Told you this was a shorty.


	11. Chapter 11

I'm anxious to get to Tris, but I don't know how to tell her what I discovered the other night, or if she'll even believe me. I have nothing to go on other than a few pieces of information and my gut, but I know something isn't right. I tried to leave. I went home after my shift, packed what I could into my backpack, and made it as far as Zeke's apartment. I heard his laughter as I passed by, and I just couldn't do it. I owe it to him, and Uriah, to stay. I made them a promise, and I intend to keep it. And then there's the Choosing Ceremony and Tris' choice weighing heavily on my shoulders; I would never forgive myself if left her there to fend on her own.

I adjust my backpack and jump from the train, careful not to jostle it around too much. When I get to the storage room, I open the bag and take out her surprise, placing it carefully on a shelf where she won't see it right away, and wait.

"Tobias?" she calls out softly, but I heard her come in, and was already on my way to open the door for her. She smiles when she sees me and my heart starts to pound a little bit harder; and when she runs up and throws her arms around me, I swear she must be able to feel it.

"Hi," she whispers. "I missed you."  
"I missed you too," I say, taking her small body into my arms and burying my face in her neck. The way she holds onto me though feels like she is desperate; not necessarily for me, but just for something to hold on to, so I hold on tighter. When she pulls away leaving me with just the scent of her, faint but sweet like vanilla, I can see it in her face too.

"What is it? What's wrong?" I ask, but she just shakes her head. "Hey, you can tell me. I'm pretty sure we've established that we're good at keeping secrets."  
"My test," she says, her voice wavering. I already know what she's going to say. It's obvious to anyone who knows her, which makes me sad to realize that nobody really does.

"Look at me," I say, taking her face into my hands. "You don't have to say it, I already know. It's going to be okay, I promise."  
"Is it that obvious? And how can you say that Tobias? She told me that what I am is dangerous," she says quietly, and I can see the tears starting to form in her eyes.  
"Her name was Tori, right?" She narrows her eyes a bit, but nods. "Don't worry about her. She can keep a secret."  
"How do you know?"  
"Because she keeps my secret too."

She let's the tears she was holding back fall and I do the only thing I can think of; I hold her. She doesn't cry long, and I think that maybe it's more tears of relief than sadness, but it still hurts me to see her like this. It hurts me to think about what they'll do to her if they find out.

"What were your results?" I ask as she pulls away.  
"Abnegation. And Dauntless." She smiles a little at this and so do I. "And Erudite." I let out a low whistle. "Yeah, I know."  
"Abnegation and Dauntless for me," I say, and she nods as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. Then again, we're not all that different from each other. It shouldn't surprise me that she can figure me out just as fast as I can figure her out. "It'll be okay Tris, I promise. Besides, I think I  _might_  have something that will make you feel at least a little better," I say as she sits down, hoping to lighten the mood, even if only for a few minutes. "Close your eyes."

She gives me a look, but she closes them anyways. I retrieve the giant slice of cake off the shelf and hold it out in front of her. "Smell," I say.  
"What?" she says, pulling her head back a little.  
"Do you trust me?"  
"Yes."  
"Then smell."

She takes a deep breath in and her face instantly relaxes. "What is that?" she says almost dreamily.  
"Open your eyes and find out."  
She does, and her mouth immediately drops open. "Is this what I think it is?"  
"The one, and only, Dauntless cake."

Her eyes widen as I hand her a fork. "Go on," I say. "And hurry up. I want to see your face the second that cake hits your tongue." She laughs, but when she takes her first bite, her face turns very serious.  
"Well?" I ask, smiling.  
"Tobias, I don't even think I know the right words to describe it." She quickly shovels another large bite in her mouth and lets out a long, satisfied breath through her nose. I take a few bites too, but I let her have the majority of it, considering I've eaten my fair share of it over the years. She licks her fork clean, and with a serious look on her face says, "I think you just convinced me to join Dauntless."

We both laugh but the comment, although said in jest, provides an opportunity. "Have you thought about it then? I know we've made comments and jokes, but have you really, seriously thought about it?" I ask her.  
"I don't know, Tobias," she says with a shrug. "I thought about it all afternoon, and the only thing I kept coming back to, the only thing that felt right, is to be wherever you are. To just be...together."  
"Tris," I sigh, "This is serious. Dauntless is no joke. It's even harder now then when I joined."  
"What? You think I can't handle it? I'm not as weak as you think I am," she says, slightly irritated. "Besides, what are you going to do? Come and visit me in this room every Friday for the rest of our lives?"

I'm a little caught off guard by her comment, but it makes me smile. "Tris, I would never think that about you. I know you're not weak. It's just, I don't want you making the same mistake I made, and I don't want you getting hurt. Things are changing, and, well," I hesitate, "I don't...I don't know how much longer I'm even going to be a member of Dauntless." She has a confused look on her face; the words came out of my mouth so fast, I'm not sure if she even understood what I said.

"What?" she says after a moment, a hint of worry in her voice. "What do you mean? Tobias, why would you say something like that? You can't become Factionless. You know what it's like."  
"I do. But becoming Factionless might be the better choice if I'm right."  
"Right about what?"

I sigh. "I found something, a list, and it doesn't look good. Weapons, names, serums I've never heard of before, all in the Dauntless secure files. And the Erudite-"  
"What about them?" she interrupts quickly, her tone slightly nervous.  
"I've taken the train by Erudite headquarters a few times, and after lights out, theirs are still on. They're working on something around the clock. I just feel like these two things are related."

"My brother," she says, squeezing her eyes tight for a moment, "He told me that things were changing. His partner, for the writing program? It was Jeanine Matthews."  
"What? How does he know that?" I ask.  
"She gave him a tablet. Wanted to keep in contact with him because she saw 'potential' in him."  
"So it seems we weren't the only ones breaking the rules."

She shakes her head. "No. That's not all, though. A few weeks back he was talking with our father, and he mentioned something about what if the Abnegation didn't help the Factionless? And when my father got angry with him, he tried to change what he was saying, make it sound like he was advocating for not making anyone Factionless, ever, but he was lying. And when I found out he was talking to Jeanine, he said that's the type of thing they talked about. He specifically said, 'what would Abnegation do if there were no Factionless?'"

"If there were no Factionless," she continues, "Then Abnegation wouldn't really have a purpose, would it? Especially if Erudite gets what they really want, and they take over the city council and government positions too. Tobias, you don't think they're going to hurt them, do you? I mean, involving Dauntless and weapons and serums? What could all of that possibly be for?"  
"I don't know, but whatever it is, it can't be good," I say. "That's not all. They're the ones who came up with the letter program too."

Her brow furrows as she thinks, but after a moment, all she says is "Why?"  
"That is what I have been trying to figure out. Maybe it's something to do with finding out if people will be dishonest," I say, running ideas by her. "Or maybe they're planning on instituting some new weird rule and want to start with those who are graduating. Or maybe they want a new way to ensure that people don't defect anymore."  
"Or," she says quietly, "Maybe they want to see if they can find people like me."

We sit in silence for a while as her words run through my head, but they're soon replaced with my own thoughts, and the one that has always been more important than the others;  _how am I going to keep her safe_? For one of the first times in my life, I don't feel guilty for feeling the way that I do.

"Tris," I say, breaking the silence, "I don't want to tell you what to do, but I think you should choose Abnegation tomorrow. No matter what, it's is the safest faction, especially for someone like you."  
"Tobias, I don't know if I can do that."  
"If you choose Dauntless, there's no guarantee I'll be there for you," I lie, and I hope she doesn't see through it. I have to stay, at least through initiation. After that everything is up in the air, but at least I know that I can always leave and find a way to protect her.

"Tris, I could go back and know that I have to leave right away. Whatever's happening could be starting  _right now_. I just need to know you're safe, okay?"  
"Then I'll leave too."  
"Tris..."  
"Look, I admit, I don't know what the right choice is right now, but please, please don't do this. We can figure it out. I can tell my dad. He works in the government."  
"Tris. I don't know if he can-"  
"Tobias, stop. Just stop."

Her head drops down into her hands, so I reach out and rub her back softly. She sighs loudly and looks up at me. "I won't make a rash decision if you don't." Her eyes are desperate, pleading even, and when I nod in agreement, she closes them in relief. "Okay," she says softly, leaning back against the wall and relaxing finally.

"I'll meet you here tomorrow," I say, and she gives me a look. " _If_ you choose to stay, that is." She nods and moves closer to me, and I gladly hold her in my arms.

"Tris," I whisper after I kiss the top of her head, "I would be more than happy to meet you here every day for the rest of my life."  
"You might have to," she whispers back.


	12. Chapter 12

**Tris**

The Choosing Ceremony is at noon, and after preparing breakfast together and spending some time with our parents, Caleb and I are dismissed to our rooms for some time to think about our test result and our decision. I promised Tobias I wouldn't make a rash decision, and I won't, but with everything that has happened in the past few days, I'm nervous and I need to talk with Caleb, now; his decision might affect my own. I walk into his room without knocking.

"Beatrice! You can't knock now?" he asks. I know he's only upset because I caught him, again, on his tablet. I look back and forth between his face and his hands, but he hides the tablet under his pillow and motions for me to sit down next to him.  
"I'm sorry Caleb, but I just needed to talk to you and it couldn't wait. I'm going to ask you something, and I need you to be honest with me."  
"Okay," he says quietly.  
"What is going on in Erudite?"

His eyes widen and he fidgets slightly, but he doesn't answer me. "Caleb. I know something is happening, and I know you know what it is. Please. I need to know."  
"How do you...?"  
"I know a lot of things, and how isn't important" I say, slightly irritated already. "Caleb. I just need the truth, and I need to hear it from you."  
"I don't know all the details," he says quietly.  
"Then tell me what you do know."

He looks around for a minute before answering. "Jeanine wants power. She wants to run the government, and she wants Abnegation out of the way."  
"I could figure that out on my own. If you're not going to volunteer the information, then I'll ask. Tell me about the serums."  
He looks at me dumbfounded for a moment before answering. "They're not ready."  
"What are they for?"  
"I don't know. That's part of why she gave me the tablet. She wants my help."  
"So she wants you to choose Erudite today?" He nods. "Are you?" I ask so quiet, I can barely hear myself. I watch my brother's eyes look all around his room before finally settling on mine, and even though I'll know, I'm not sure if I want him to tell me the truth, or to lie.  
"Beatrice, I have to think of myself today, but so do you. Just remember that, okay?"

I nod and try to hold back the tears. "One more thing. Nobody's going to get hurt, are they?"  
"Beatrice, what? No! No, no, no. I would never do anything that would hurt anyone. You know that, don't you?" I nod and he reaches out, pulling me into him.  
"I love you, Caleb."  
"I love you too, Beatrice."

I sit in my room and cry a little. I understand why my brother is doing what he's doing, but that doesn't mean I have to like it or even understand it. I mean, looking back, I can see the aptitude for Erudite is evident everywhere; from the extra books he would bring home, to the random questions I would hear him ask elders when he thought nobody was listening.

My feelings echo Tobias' wholly though; something is not right about any of this, and my brother is going to be putting himself right in the middle of it. I walk to my dresser and take out the folder I had hidden. Just holding it brings a warm sensation to my chest, and I almost wish I could rewind time and experience the moments when I first received them all over again. So much has happened since I chose to test the waters, but there's something to the innocence of how it all began; something that feels like a missing part of me.

I read the letters Tobias wrote, and a sad smile creeps up on me; neither one of us can ever truly be who we really are, and neither one of us will ever truly be happy.

I place the letters back where they belong when I'm done and wipe my face. My choice is clear now; Caleb is leaving, so I must stay. I can't break my parents hearts like he will.

* * *

When we arrive at the Hub, I do my best to look everywhere for Tobias, but the Dauntless are rowdy and I'm still Abnegation, so I wait patiently, hoping he finds me instead. I know I'll see him tonight, but I want to see him now; see his reassuring eyes and the small nod of his head telling me everything will be okay, but it doesn't happen. When the ceremony starts, I do my best to listen to what's being said, but all I can hear is a dull hum in my ears.

Before I realize it, my brother is leaving his place beside me. I watch as he cuts his hand, and pledges his life to Erudite. They welcome him with open arms, and suddenly my fathers face flashes before my eyes.

Of all the factions, Caleb had to choose Erudite.

Even though they are behind me, I can picture my fathers eyes, like mine, following Caleb into his new faction. They're so full of pain and hurt and betrayal that I'm scared that I'll never be able to see anything else in them.

When my name is called, it feels like everything is moving in slow motion; I know I'm walking, I know I'm cutting into my hand, and I know what I'm supposed to do.

But I can't; it's just not who I am. This is the part of me that's missing.

Just before we leave, I take one last look at my parents. My father sits with his head in his hands, but my mother just smiles at me and nods as she always has, and now I understand. All her little smiles and silent nods of encouragement lately; she's proud. She'll make him understand, I think; make him proud too.

Things move fast, and before I know it, I'm jumping onto a moving train the way I've imagined it a thousand times before. The ride to Dauntless is long, but I talk with the Candor girl, Christina, who sits beside me. And when an obnoxious boy from Erudite calls me a Stiff, she stands up for me.

I jump again, this time onto the roof of a building, hand in hand with a friend by my side; and when we don't stick our landings, we are there to pick each other up.

There's only one thing left to let me know I made the right choice.

"Listen up," a tall man with dark skin and many tattoos calls out. "My name is Max, and I am a leader of Dauntless. There's only one entrance into the compound, and it's down there. Who wants to be the first to enter?"

The crowd leans forward and looks over the ledge to a gaping hole in the ground, and one by one, they back away, leaving me by myself.  
"Me," I say. "I'll go first."

Max laughs and the boy from Erudite teases me when I remove my bulky sweater and too long shirt, leaving my arms exposed for the first time I can recall. I shrug it off and take a moment to appreciate the strong breeze and beautiful view from up here, but say a silent prayer that I survive this.

There's nothing left to do but jump, so I hold my breath and leap, and in the few seconds that I am weightless, I close my eyes and hold out my arms. The weightlessness makes me feel like I am flying, and for just a moment, I imagine that I am.

My body hits something hard yet giving, a net, and I let out a shriek of excitement. I notice a pair of hands, strong and familiar reaching out for me, and my heart races as I quickly scramble towards them.

They pull me off the net with such ease, and slowly lower me down onto the ground. I look up, and the first thing I can think is,  _it's him_.

The boy with the blue eyes.

Tobias.

He stayed.

Concern crosses his face, but he pulls himself together quickly, and asks me what my name is.  
"Tris," I say confidently.  
"First jumper, Tris!" he yells out, and a mob of Dauntless that were hiding in the shadows cheer for me.  
"Tris," he says again, "Welcome to Dauntless," and as he places his hand on my back to guide me to where I need to be, he leans down and whispers in my ear, "Together."

I smile as I watch Tobias turn back to the net and help Christina out next. I know things aren't going to be easy, and with the information Tobias and I have, I might not even get to experience true Dauntless life, but that's okay. Life is all about choices, and I know I made the right one. I just wish I had brought that letter. He owes me one cake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that's all she wrote. I hope you liked it, and even though I could go on forever with this story, I won't. It was all about choices, and Tris made hers. : )
> 
> Thank you for following and favoriting and all the wonderful reviews. You guys make this awesome.
> 
> And I do have another story ready to go. I'm just going to sit on it for a week or two so I can go back and read it with fresh eyes so I can find the mistakes and whatnot.


End file.
